You know what sucks- when even BabyCenter.com knows that you're having problems trying to get pregnant. I've been getting infertility newsletters in my email for sometime now- it's not like I changed any settings either. The latest one had an article about coping strategies. The first one was to recognize that infertility is a major crisis and one of the worst ones you'll experience as a couple. I did find some relief in that. It mentioned that one of the hardest part of infertility is that society doesn't recognize the grief that comes from infertility, which I've found to be so true. It just is frustrating because I've been beating myself up all year long, knowing that the infertility has been affecting many aspects of my life, and feeling guilty for allowing it to. I shouldn't have to feel guilty, though. Coming to terms that you may not be able to have children or need help is a major crisis and not something that we will be able to overcome in a few short months. It is painful, and as the months go on, I've been noticing that at least I've been working my way through the grieving process- grieving the loss of possible children. The grief is different than when my dad died, but still there and still painful in a different way. Honestly, reading that and digesting it for a few days has been a huge relief for me- like a load has been taken off my shoulders because we are allowed to be hurting and upset through this process.
Don't get me wrong, there are still times when I'm jealous of pregnant women and families, when I mourn the fact that we will never get the chance again to be one of the lucky ones who gets pregnant on the first or second try, when I'm terrified that we will never get our family. They may not be pretty emotions (such as the jealousy), but they're real. And thankfully others who have gone through infertility know how I'm feeling and that its normal. Knowing that its normal is whats getting me through day to day.
Here's an article that may give you some insight. It's hard to understand completely if you haven't gone through infertility.
When Everyone Else is Pregnant
